We were happy, but scared. It was a hard pregnancy to begin with. I always get morning sickness and it got worse with each child. I could not get out of bed with this child. I was put in the hospital twice for dehydration. I also bleed for about 3 weeks. When I finally started feeling better, we moved in with my mother until our house was finished being built. Building the house was the most stressful time for us. We made ourselves sick. We forced our way in there on Sept 1st. September 10the was like any other day. I was 38 weeks pregnant and feeling huge. I had taken off of work and my mother came over for a visit. I had gone through the whole day without realizing that anything was wrong. I already had 2 kids and they ran me ragged that day. After the kids bath, I decided to fold some laundry. When I sat down for a minute, I realized that I had not felt Jakob move all day. I drank some juice. Nothing. I called Darren and he told me to call the doctor. He told me to go to the hospital and said that it was usual not to feel movement towards the end. I already knew he was gone. I called Darren and told him that Jakob was gone, but we had to go to the hospital. He thought I was over reacting. I took a shower while I waited for Darren to come get me.

     We got to the hospital around 9PM. The nurse (Pam - I will never forget her) tried to find the heartbeat.  Nothing. They did 2 sonograms. Nothing. Finally they decided to tell me what I already knew. He was gone. I figured that he must have died in my sleep the night before, because I had felt him move before I went to sleep. The doctor then told me that I had to be induced. I was mortified. The most horrifying thing was not hearing his cry when he came out. The room was so silent. I will never forget that as long as I live. Jakob Daniel Narango was born on September 11, 2001 at 4:01AM. A day I will never forget.

     Then while we were still at the hospital we heard about the terrorist attacks. I did not find out the whole story until 2 days later. The nurse told my doctor that she could tell when she first met me that Jakob had past. She also had volunteered to stay with me until he was delivered (again - I will never forget her). Six weeks later, I have returned to work. I take each day very slowly. People at work come up to me and I still want to cry a river. I have not cleared out his room. I have his memory box in the cradle where he would have slept. I have his picture up and my hospital bracelet still on. I cannot stop thinking about him. Work and the kids keep me busy, but when I finally can settle down, I wish that he was here and I was holding him. Sometimes I think that he is still coming. It is so hard. I know that he is in a better place, but that does not make it any easier.

~ Kristie Narango
DNarango@Home.com