HI THERE I AM READY TO TELL MY STORY SORRY THIS MAY BE LONG TO READ WELL FIRST LET ME TELL YOU IT STARTED JANUARY OF 2002 WHEN ME AND JASON WANTED TO TRY TO HAVE A BABY I ALREADY HAVE A 12 AND 9 OLD BOY AND GIRL I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT AT THE END OF FEB 2002 BUT I HAD A MISCARRIAGE AT 11 WEEKS DOC SAID WAIT 5-6 MONTHS SO WE DID WE STARTED TRYING IN AUG AND I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT IN OCT OF 2002 EVERYTHING SEEMED TO BE FINE A COUPLE OF SCARES WELL I WENT FOR MY 18WK SCAN AND FOUND OUT IT WAS A BOY BUT 2 WKS LATER WE HAD A PHONE CALL SAYING THE KIDNEYS WERE NOT SEEN WITH FOR SURE SO I HAD TO GO BACK 2 WKS LATER TO FIND OUT THAT HE HAD NO KIDNEYS OR BLADDER AND THERE WAS NO AMNIOTIC FLUID I HAD 3 CHOICES ABOARD AT 20WKS DELIVER FULL TERM HE WOULD LIVE FOR HOURS MAYBE A DAY BUT HE WOULD BE IN PAIN FROM TRYING TO BREATH OR DELIVER AT 22 WKS AND HE PROBABLY WOULD NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE DELIVERY SO THAT IS WHAT I DID I HAD MY SON ON FEB9TH 2003 HE WEIGHED 1 POUND MICHEAL DAVID IS HIS NAME I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY OR THE DAYS TO FOLLOW I STILL REMEMBER HIS SMELL AFTER LOSING HIM I TRIED TO GET PREGNANT RIGHT AWAY I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT MAY 2003 I WAS VERY HAPPY BUT SCARED TO DEATH I HAD MANY SCARES DURING THIS PREGNANCY I HAD P NUCHAL TRANSLUCENCY TEST WHICH WAS HIGH AND SHOWED THAT THE BABY MIGHT HAVE DOWNS WE HAD A CVS DONE AND THAT NIGHT I HAD A GUSH OF FLUID AND LOTS OF BLOOD NEXT DAY HAD SCAN AND EVERYTHING SEEMED FINE FROM THAT TIME 12 WKS UNTIL 15 WKS I BLED HEAVY AT THAT POINT I WAS SEEING A MIDWIFE 18 WKS I HAD A SCAN AND YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW SCARED I WAS EVERYTHING SEEMED FINE CHROMOSOME WAS NORMAL AND HE HAD ALL HIS ORGANS ALTHOUGH THEY DIAGNOSED ME WITH MARGINAL PREVIA I WAS NOT THAT SCARED SEEING AS THERE WAS HOPE AND I KNEW WHAT IT WAS TO NOT HAVE ANY HOPE THE OB DID NOT WANT ME TO SEE THE MIDWIFE ANY MORE I WAS VERY MAD SO I WANTED TO FIND OUT HOW THE PLACENTA WAS DOING AT 25 WKS TO SEE IF I COULD GO BACK TO WORK DOCTOR DID THE SCAN IN HIS OFFICE AT FIRST HE SAID IT LOOKED GOOD BUT THEN WENT DOWN TOWARDS MY CERVIX AND THOUGHT THAT HE COULD SEE VESSELS SO THATS WERE IT BEGAN HE TOLD ME THAT I VELAMENTOUS INSERTION AND POSSIBLE VP AND WHAT HE SAID SCARED ME SO THAT IS WHEN I CAME HOME AND FOUND YOU FROM THAT MOMENT I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD NOT HOLD THIS SON FOR LONG EITHER I HAD TO GO BACK A WK LATER TO HAVE A DOPPLER DONE AND YES THAT DID CONFIRM MY WORST FEARS I KNEW THE SEVERITY OF THIS CONDITION AND TOLD HIM I WANTED TO BE IN HERE AT 28 WKS AND I WAS THE FIRST DAY I WENT IN THE NURSES HAD NO IDEA WHAT VP WAS I THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS NO HOPE FOR MY SON BUT THANKS TO THIS HELPFUL SIGHT I WAS ABLE TO EXPLAIN TO THEM AND BEFORE TO LONG THEY KNEW HOW SERIOUS IT WAS THEY DID A LOT OF THINGS FOR ME THAT MADE ME FEEL SAFE I HAD AN IV IN THE WHOLE TIME AND IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN THE NURSES WERE TO NOT EVEN LOOK AT ME JUST BRING ME TO OR IN MY BED I HAD A LONG 8 WKS THERE AND VERY STRESSFUL AT TIMES AT 32 WKS I WANTED TO KNOW WHEN HE WOULD DELIVER ME AND HE SAID HE WANTED TO WAIT PAST 36 WKS AND I ALREADY HAD MY SON AT 35 WKS SO I WAS AT RISK FOR PRETERM LABOUR I FOUGHT WITH THE DOC AND SAID NOT PAST 36 WKS HE KEPT FIGHTING ME I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE MY MIND BUT FINALLY I GOT WHAT I WANTED AND HE GAVE ME A DATE DEC 19TH 35 WKS AND 3 DAYS I WAS VERY HAPPY BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS VERY FAR AWAY AND I KNEW IT ONLY TOOK MINUTES TO LOSE MY SON I THINK I CRIED EVERY NIGHT UNTIL DEC 19TH THE BIG DAY I DELIVERED HIM BY C- SECTION 3:23 on DEC 19TH AND I CLEARLY HAD VP HE STARTED TO CRY A FEW MINUTES AFTER HE WAS BORN AND I KNEW EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE FINE ANDEN JAMES JOSEPH ONLY SPENT ONE NIGHT IN NICU AND CAME HOME WITH US 3 DAYS LATER NOW EVERY DAY I LOOK AT HIM I KNOW HOW CLOSE WE WERE TO LOSING HIM THE FIRST FEW WEEKS HOME I DO NOT THINK THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL I WOULD BE HOLDING HIM AND CRYING AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS LIKE I STILL FEARED LOSING HIM NOW I CAN HOLD HIM AND NO THAT EVERYTHING IS OK AND WE MADE IT THROUGH A REALLY HARD TIME IT TOOK A LOT OF FAITH IN GOD AND I AM NOT RELIGIOUS BUT I NEEDED TO BELIEVE THAT HE COULD NOT TAKE ANOTHER SON FROM ME ONE I FOUGHT SO HARD TO GET NOW IT IS JAN 25TH AND FEB9TH IT IS NOT TO FAR AWAY AND EVEN THOUGH I HAVE ANDEN CLOSE TO ME MICHEAL WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS ALL THE TIME I AM SO SORRY FOR THIS LONG EMAIL BUT I NEEDED TO TELL YOU MY WHOLE STORY I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO LOSE A SON AND I KNOW HOW SCARY IT IS TO HAVE VP AND FEAR TO LOSE A CHILD WHEN IT CAN BE PREVENTED THANK YOU CINDY AND THE OTHERS THAT HELPED ME IN THE WKS BEFORE I WENT INTO THE HOSPITAL WITHOUT YOUR HELP I WOULD OF BEEN LOST AND SO MUCH MORE SCARED THAN I ALREADY WAS THANK YOU I WILL REMEMBER WHAT EVERYONE DID FOR ME FOREVER EVERY TIME I LOOK INTO MY SONS EYES